HOW TO APPROACH GIRLS IN CAMPUS WITHOUT APPEARING AWKWARD

Two of the biggest challenges a campus boy faces in seduction process is how to start a convo with a girl and how to climax and finish it without appearing awkward. You spot a really fine chick walking merrily in a group of bevy of beauties and you feel intimidated. You want to approach her but again you feel like your vibe might backfire.

Approaching girls in campus is not a cake in the mouth matter. As guys we've all found ourselves, at one point in time standing back and rationalizing if it's the appropriate time to act. If it's hard enough approaching women in clubs where the environment invites social communication, then imagine how much harder it is in a learning environment.

No need to worry. This is how you approach girls in campus and hit the bulls eye.


Be a smart dresser

The way you are dressed matters a lot. Trust me a girl will snub you if you approach her with a rusted shirt that has a stain on the sleeve. She might not tell you but eventually you will realize it yourself. By being smart it doesn't mean you deplete your money on all the trendy clothes in the market. Just dress smartly. This gives a woman the impression that you are doing well in life.

All girls want guys who are decent and sartorially good looking, not normal men who just want sex without offering any security. Understand this - A girl decides whether they are interested or not even before you talk to them. If she sees that you look like a focused guy, she will entertain your vibe. Otherwise she will give you hell.


Approach a girl when she is walking slowly

If a girl is rushing to classes, you have zero chances of getting her. You will just end up doing a walk race that will leave you mortified and embarrassed. Close in when she is walking slowly probably to her hostel or maybe in a crowded area. In that instance you are somehow covered and no one will notice if you get rejected. Also, she won't see you coming when there are people around.

Just because you know that you are a nice guy doesn't mean that she does. When you approach a campus girl, it is important for you to know that most will be caught by surprise (if it's a place where approaches aren't usually made) so they can snub you. This is normal, and the most important thing is for you to come across as a harmless guy. Take it slowly and talk kindly. If you feel that things aren't going so well, withdraw quickly.


Lenga tabia za kifisi

You are obviously a fisi but avoid looking like one. Some guys keep on sabotaging any good chances they have by keeping their eyes fixed down on a woman's breasts or buttocks. Instead, keep your eyes locked onto hers all the time. Remember you want her to think of you as a brave, romantic guy who will take her to cloud nine rather than a thirsty guy who eyes every pretty face that passes by. The way she looks at you helps whether to initiate a courtship salvo or pull back. Don't force if she's looking uncomfortable.
The rules of Eye-contact.

1.If she looks down, she's instantly attracted but shy

2.If she looks at you only for a second then looks away and stare at anything else apart from you, she's not interested at all.

3.If she holds eye contact with you intensely she is interested in whatever you want to say.


Self-confidence pays

Calm your nerves. No need to pant and have your heart racing like an athlete talking to a news reporter. Some guys tend to get nervous when talking to girls and act like they are about to delve into a marriage proposal that their lives depend on. By acting in such a way they appear desperate. Relax it's a simple approach all you need is to say "Sasa" and create a normal non-sexual conversation. Don't try to pick up lines. Just talk normally the way you talk to other chics. Understand this-women love confident men.


Process 2

HOW TO ASK FOR HER NUMBER WITHOUT APPEARING CREEPY.

The absolute best way to leave with her contact is to ASSUME THE SALE.

What am I talking about? Simply hand her your smart phone and say

"Key in your number. I'll hit you up with a plan sometime."

Say it with a wry smile. She won't knock your phone away. Trust me.

Why does this work so well?

1.It's a boss move. By handing her the phone, you are taking charge of the situation. You are also not asking, you are demanding politely. Women get wet over dominant men.

2. It's a show of masculinity. Great men curve out their own path. They don't beg to be allowed in. In a world where men are begging and asking for phone numbers from women you will be telling her to put her number in.

3.It gives her expectations of greater things ahead. She knows that she is not giving her number for  nothing. She knows you will give her fun times.


What if she says she has a boyfriend?

Simply say :

"You have a boyfriend?"That's great. So does my girlfriend.

Or

"Who said I want to take his role."


And what if you meet the kind of chic who say "No" before you even say anything?


Once in a while you will encounter the NO girl. Before you even cough a syllable, she shots her hand and shouts "NO" or "JIPE SHUGLI." and there you are looking all embarrassed and confused! Your friends are probably laughing at you. Don't worry. No need to fret.

This type of chic is usually an average bimbo who thinks she's the hottest being on planet earth. Her programmed autonomic rejection is just an act she puts on for the sorry purpose of self-medicating her ever-vigilant ego.
Truly hot chics in campus don't do this nonsense because :


1.They aren't approached that often by men, most men are scared of them mostly because their beauty intimidate most men.

2.They don't have to be bitchy towards men to look cool

3.They are Sirenic in nature. According to the book "The Art of Seduction" by Robert Greene. A Siren is a beautiful woman who every man admires but they dare not approach her since they are not sure if they can handle her. Cleopatra of Egypt was a siren,Helen of Troy was the greatest siren to have ever existed. Sara Maldonado, the most beautiful woman in North America is also a siren.  


The NO chic is often found in groups of her BFFs because it is fun for her to reject a guy to the amusement of her cackling bitch friends.


DON'T LET HER HUMILIATE  YOU


If you display resentment or appear insulted you are letting the NO girl win. Learn how to dismiss her faggy theatrics with honed reaction such as these:


THE NO GIRL:*Hand shot up*No

YOU:Hey chill, nilikuwa nataka kukuliza kama wewe ndio umenyamba

Hahaha

Or


Hey chill out, Nilikuwa nataka kukwambia uko na sukuma kwa meno.



Telling her to chill out is important because you are avoiding humiliation by humiliating her instead. You want everyone within earshot distance to understand she is crazy for reacting so hostile. Social shaming is a bitch taming. Any day, anytime.

Alternative version


THE NO CHIC :*Hands shot up *No

YOU:Hey chill out. I came over to talk to your friend.


There is also the non-verbal response.


THE NO GIRL:*Hand shot up*No

YOU:High five the girl`s hand and walk away.

Happy hunting and remember the number is just the beginning and should be the last resort. All the best.

Photo credit - Jane Wanji(model) 

Written by Ben Mugambi 

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KEY POINTS PICKED FROM PROFESSOR GETENGA’S TALK ON ACADEMIC WRITING

For the better part of my campus life, I haven’t gotten to be in the audience of an inspiring, motivating and encouraging session such as that we had with Professor Getenga on the night of 30^th Feb 2018 at the Writers Guild Chuka Meeting.

The talk was divided into two inspirational parts, one being subjective and the other objective. In the first part, Prof shared his own story, right from his birth, the challenges he faced to get to where he is and how it has been being where he is at the moment. The following are some of the key points I picked from this first part;

#1. Your life is yours if you’re willing to take it

In the traditional set-up in which Prof. Getenga was born, getting an education was the last option anyone had in life considering the many challenges that were glued to it. The area chief had to forcefully sell his father’s flock in order to keep him in school, he couldn’t afford a government school despite passing so well, had his exams cancelled at form four, but still never gave up on education.

The most inspiring part is actually when he had to give up his lifetime dream of becoming an engineer just because his high school couldn’t offer him Physics. Who does that? Just imagining if that was me, I would even transfer to a Ugandan school just to do what I want. I’m not saying it’s wrong to follow dreams and to work hard for them, but sometimes, we focus so much on the closed door that we don’t even see the open doors. If Prof. had stood for Physics no matter what, right now, Chuka University would be lacking a professor in Analytical and Environmental Chemistry and a Director of Research.

We do not know our destiny and despite knowing what we want, we don’t know what we need. So let’s not pretend like we can decide our own destiny. We can try, fail, try again, fail and keep trying, but if we keep ignoring open doors because we want better…, hmm…, I don’t even know what might happen.

#2. Failure is not the end your story, it is the beginning of your comeback story

I’m sure you’ve heard a thousand stories of those who failed and tried again until they succeeded. But here is another one. Prof. Getenga passed CPE very well but couldn’t join a government sponsored school due to fee, but still joined a Harambee school and pushed on with life. His exams were cancelled in form four due to incrimination by a fellow, but still didn’t quit, decided to repeat, and passed. He was denied the chance to do Physics in high school, which would enable him do engineering, his dream course, but still didn’t quit. Probably, that’s the only reason he’s now a professor of Chemistry.

‘Failure is success in progress’, so said Einstein. Even Prof. Getenga echoed it, do not give up despite the turbulence on the way. Obstacles are there to make you better. If you fail, get up and try again. If you fail again, don’t worry, just get up and try again. If you aren’t dead, you haven’t failed entirely. You still have a chance.

#3. Don’t collect money, collect memories

You can sit down with Prof. Getenga talking about the people he has met, the places he has been, the things he has done, and you’d only be removed by dusk and the following morning you’d be sure to be right at his feet. It is so adorable. Money, we will leave when we die. But memories are part of us, we will take them with us to the grave and we will cherish them forever. I do tell some minions that it is not always about money. Not everything I do is about money.

Echoing Prof. Getenga’s words, “I might not have a lot of money, but I am proud of the life I have lived. I am better off than those who have amassed wealth through ungodly ways.” I am not dedicating my life to collecting wealth, I am devoting myself to collecting memories. And some day when I’ll be old, on my deathbed, I won’t be looking with agitation at the wealth I have collected that can’t save me from the face of death or make me young again, but I will be thinking of all the memories I’ve collected and smiling all the way into eternity.

#4. Humility is not just a virtue, it is the best principle

Did you know, that in the whole of Chuka University, there are only four full professors, and Prof. Getenga is one of them, alongside the VC and the two DVCs. All the rest are called professors but are simply associate professors. Again, just in case you didn’t know, Prof. Getenga is the director of research, extension and publications in Chuka University. But still, he could lower himself to the level of talking to the young minds at Writers Guid, encouraging and mentoring them. How many professors can do that? Let alone professors, there are some assistant lecturers who are too ‘busy’ to even e consulted for just 20 minutes.

I have gotten to see Prof. Getenga’s humility for myself, and it made me happy that he associated it greatly with his success. This was even echoed by Joshua, the best graduating student of 2018, who accompanied professor. If you aren’t humble, then it isn’t far you’re reaching.

In the second part of the talk, which was more of objective, Prof. Getenga tried to answer some of the most disturbing questions about academic writing. I picked up these key points;

#1. Acadmic writing is different from online writing

If you came with the thought that academic writing implies that stuff you do online and then get paid, I’m sure you were disappointed. No one would invite a professor to talk about that kind of stuff. Anyway, online writing is a talk for another day, but clearly, it isn’t anywhere close to academic writing from how professor described academic writing.

#2. Academic writing is built on research

I know many must have thought earlier that academic writing is writing for academic purposes. However, prof. clearly described what academic writing entails and the process of producing an academic paper.

In layman’s terms. Academic writing is the process of coming up with an academic paper. An academic paper is a document in which the findings of a research has been documented. A research is a systematic investigation of an issue in order to provide a solution.

#3. There is no need to write an academic paper if you don’t know how to

For an academic paper to be published in a recognised credible journal, it has to meet given set standards. If it can’t meet the standards, then it can’t be published. Therefore, at an undergraduate level, students are taught research methods for the first time in fourth year. Before then, a student might not be equipped with the right skills to write an academic paper and therefore trying to might be a waste of time. Professor’s indirect advice was therefore that it is better to wait till fourth-year in order to write an academic paper, but of course, trying is not forbidden, and personal learning is not forbidden either.

#4. The process of publishing an academic paper

In order to get an academic paper to be published, one has to go through a given process. First, after reaching out to the publisher/editor in chief of a research journal, one is provided with a set of instructions known as instructions to authors. Within is contained the objectives of the journal and the formats in which the journal’s papers are presented. Once an author affirms that his/her paper conforms to the particular journal, then it is forwarded for consideration.

The chief editor reviews the paper if it fits for publication in the journal. If it is, it does, it is considered for publication. If it doesn’t, it is not considered. Once the paper passes that stage, it is sent to three different peer reviewers, who review the paper again to see if it is suitable for publication. The reviewers check for such things as plagiarism, authenticity, if the paper is presenting anything new, among other things. If the paper passes this stage as well, it will surely be published.

#5. Take your fourth-year project serious

If you ever dream of becoming an academician (a professor), then the journey begins with your fourth year project. Apart from the post-doc studies, it is the publications you make that make you rise from a senior lecturer, to an associate professor and finally to a professor. Therefore, the fourth-year project is just the first among many for an academician and should thus be taken with a lot of seriousness.

There you have it friends. I hope you grasp something as well. If you grasped something I didn’t capture, please add it in the comments section for everyone to learn it as well.

by Vincent Owino

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IN THIS MOMENT by Allan Irrow

I've flown to the future,

To those castles we've built not yet,

To the adventures we've had not yet,

To those moments we've spent not yet,

And those dreams we've lived not yet,

But I want to stay, in this moment.

What if the next moment finds us not as us,

But as you and me, apart,

Or what if it finds you, and my lifeless body,

Will you be able to recall,

The priceless moments we shared,

The timeless memories we created,

So I want to stay, in this moment.

To walk away from this moment, I want not,

From the moment,

When you let me trust you, and trusted me back,

When you let me love you, and loved me back

When you let me see your worst, and best.

I want to stay, in this moment.

If I could; I'd pause this moment.

If I could, I'd halt the seconds.

If I could, I'd freeze time, and let us strand,

Forever, in this moment,

Because in this moment, you are mine. 

by Allan Irrow 

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Friends

Well there are those that
Care enough to stick around
There are those loyal enough
To come through for you
No matter what and
There're those who will use
And toss you when
You are no longer juicy

I am privilege to have met
Every single one of this friends
And strangely i don't
Regret knowing either
See
Some may have been trying
To pull me down and
Some trying to build me up

Just like setting up a building
First you must break ground
Destroy and painfully level
Then step by step
Brick after brick raise it
But that they didn't realize

Believe it not friends
You did all that to me for me
And always there for me
Or at least with me
See then when i was sad
Your smile kept me going
I was lonely you kept me company

I shall cherish memories shared
And in my heart you are immortal
We may part but i shall remember
Goodbyes and the stupid farewells
I am so sad
I wish there was another way

But even we don't meet again
And the mind forgets you
Rest assured my heart will
Always remember
Tell you what
You are all my friends
You are my family

wandez.. 

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THE TYPES OF WOMEN I'VE SEEN by Demus Munene

I have seen different kinds of women. Starts from the moment I started dating. Then the evolution started.

I have seen women with hearts like stone. No!  Stone isn't the right word. Is there a word for a heart that beats with no sound making you wonder if it's even there. Is there a word for a being that makes you feel the butterflies in your stomach just let you realize it's all just in your head. A heart that retains your finger print just to put you in a contact list that will only be used when in need of something. Is there a word for that? 

I don't know but if someday you decide to become that kind of woman, make sure you have all the  right reasons for it and remember you have me to not turn into that kind.

I have seen women who value what they see more than what they feel. women who think of quantity way more than quality. I have been approached with far too many pickup lines that let me see through their full being the second they opened their mouth. The type of women who rush to make a man's body their temple and worship him just to convert the second there's a better looking one insight.

So if someday you decide to become that kind of woman be careful not to mistake lust for love and remember you have me to not turn into that kind.

I have seen good women. The kind of women that make you wonder what the world would be like if they didn't exist. The kind of women that make you experience that feeling you used to have as a kid when you see the ice cream truck coming. The kind of women who will put their finger print on your soul not because they're scared of oblivion but because you are the the centerpiece of their addiction and they just can't keep their hands off you. I have seen the kind of women with such a good heart and they don't even know it and that makes them indefinable.

So if someday you decide to become that kind of woman make sure not to let your kindness be taken for weakness and remember you have me not to let that happen.

©Prince_Demus

by Munene Demus (Prince_Demus)

Photo Credits: Adique Photography.

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'MASIPONSA' by Riziki Tokal

Ninakuja kwa makeke, ujumbe wangu kusema,

Ili kwenu usikike, vijana watu wazima,

Hasa kwa wana wa kike, kutunza yetu heshima,

Si watu waone vile, masiponsa ni wanyama.

Imekuwa lalamiko, toka bara hadi pwani,

Vimesheheni vituko, masiponsa vileleni,

Chunga hao ni wanoko, hawakupendi yakini,

Si watu waone vile, masiponsa ni wanyama.

Ni wakwasi kwelikweli, pesa tele mifukoni,

Lakini ni makatili, pulika wangu mwendani,

Bura yako sibadili, kwa kutamani rehani,

Si watu waone vile, masiponsa ni wanyama,

Usifuate tamaa, ukasahau mauti,

Hawachoki kuhadaa, kwa huba za chokileti,

Wakikufwata kataa, sihadaike na noti,

Si watu waone vile, masiponsa ni wanyama.

Thamani kwao hauna, chunga hao ni mafisi,

Pindi wakishakuchuna, watatoweka kwa kasi,

Na katu hutawaona, imekwisha yenu kesi,

Si watu waone vile, masiponsa ni wanyama.

Acheni kujiumbua, kwa kuvitaka vya ghali,

Masiponsa wanaua, ina sumu yao mili,

Wahepeni nawambia, wanashinda Pilipili.

Si watu waone vile, masiponsa ni wanyama,

Mwisho hapa natuama, siwezi tena andika,

Ujumbe niliosema, ushikeni kwa haraka,

Musije uweke nyuma, moyoni kuufundika,

Si watu waone vile, masiponsa ni wanyama

Na Riziki Tokal

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SOCIETAL DECAY THAT STENCHES.

I am not one of those political analysts who waste our precious time on TV in the guise of breaking down the political atmosphere of the country to the common Mwananchi, while at the same time using Byzantine words and uttering ambiguity. I still wonder how they expect the common citizen to understand all that English of the nose. I am of the strong view that they should stick to practicing their political analysis in lecture theatres and leave us alone to enjoy our soap operas in peace.

Anyway, away from our learned friends. I am still holed up in a Kamukunji with me, myself and I still arguing as to whether I should blast some people with insults because of their blatant display of ignorance as they continuously cause mother earth pain due to their nature-destructive ways.  I hope none of my fiery insults will find themselves in any of the following sentences, as I hit the keys on this board, but if they do, well, I am so not sorry!

First, I will address myself to our honorable leaders who after all, are not so honorable anyway. I still don’t understand how a representative of the people will stab at the back, the same people who so generously showered them with their precious votes during the elections! Your people cry of food insecurity, but hey! Look who just grabbed land in a wetland and put up huge buildings there? Your people cry of water shortage but look! Who just cleared acres of forest for their pockets sake? Your people cry of their land giving up on them, look! Who just dumped tons and tons of waste on agricultural land? look who just signed the papers illegally for some rich tycoon to set up shop next to our rivers and when diseases break out, we have no one to turn to because your evil, twisted ways push us down the drains, and our lives become much more unbearable. Your political gimmicks our dear leaders, are the end of Mother Nature, and when she is gone, we go down with her.

To my fellow citizens, I am now very sick and tired of your ignorance and continuous pathetic excuses of “I didn’t know”. Doesn’t that repetition burst your eardrums?! You dump domestic waste anyhow, a walk down these streets tell of a tale of waste, sore to the eye and your excuse? It’s the government’s work to take care of your waste for you. Till when for you to stop shifting your responsibilities to others. You cut down trees for fuel, and you expect us to let you be because it’s your only source of fuel, how ignorant? You don’t even care about what you are cutting down, as long as its’ physical attributes are fit for it to be called a tree, then fire wood and charcoal it becomes. You don’t care how many elephants are remaining in the world, but as long as its tusks are large enough for some hefty notes and silver, then it’s game for you.

If the Pharisees during Jesus’ time were still alive, then am pretty sure they would be complaining to him for calling them hypocrites while the big ones are you and me. Our fear of responsibility and over dependence of the government has turned us into robots who can’t think for themselves. We are a people with eyes but do not see what we are turning our world into, a people with ears but can’t hear mother earth’s cry of help, because we are so engulfed in exploiting her resources that we don’t see the harm we do to her. The moment she strikes back, everyone is up in arms shifting blames and pointing an accusing finger to the governments of the day, forgetting, not even the strongest or most stable government can tone down Mother Nature’s vengeance, because, she hits where it hurts the most.
        By Githinji Kiiru.                    

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RIDHIKENI

Salamu kwa kina dada, nimekuja kuwaponza
Nawaombeni wenu muda, hoja nipate kuzihonza
Lamu mpaka chuda, niwajuze kinacho nikinza
Itakuwaje mliwe na babu buda, ilihali rika zenu mwatulunza

Wakutosha ninao ushuhuda, wengi kuuliwa na sponsor
Kisa kulipia misaada, ya wao nyie kuwatunza
Obado Sharon wakavimbada, na kitoto mwisho kukifyonza
Nikiwapa Hii taarifa labda, mtapata kujifunza

Ridhikeni na hali zenu, sikimbilie paka mzee
Upatacho ngali finyu, mauti sijilimbikize
Ni hatari si fununu, kutoroka we jikaze
Madondo chapo ndio menu, 5 star sivizevize

Jowi na Monica, Habari hizi zishawafikia
Maskini na visu akadungika, bila hata kuhurumia
Kisa kudata daka, na yeyote anayemvizia
Jambo hili latia shaka, yaarabi najililia

Nasibu natapatapa, simanzi menikazia
Wino meshuka paa, sakafuni memalizia
Wachaneni na kina papa, mwisho wao kujutia
Kikomo nakieka hapa, siwafanye zidi kulia

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TOMORROW COMES

I know for sure that tomorrow comes

And I will not be afraid of it as I’ve always been

Though it’s a day closer to my grave

Though it’s a day closer to the end of the world

Though it’s a day closer to losing my senses

It’s a day closer to becoming a nobody

I will not be afraid of it when it comes.

Gone are the days when I feared tomorrow

For gone are the days when today was worth

I wouldn’t say the same of yesterday though

For gone are the days when life was worth

And I know I’ve had no boldness to face tomorrow

But then it seems I will have to borrow

Because tomorrow comes, so let it come

Tomorrow was my biggest worry

Because I feared the consequences of my today

And being haunted by the choices of yesterday

Feared living to compensate the past

But that past is mine

If I could only mount it to someone else

Then maybe I would love tomorrow

But would never deserve to see it

Now tomorrow is my greatest desire

Because it is my only hope

Hope of correcting my mistakes of today and yesterday

Hope that the road will rise up to meet me

Hope of waking up to a sober and peaceful nation

Hope of waking up to see a smile on my mom’s face

Hope of waking up to a totally new life

This is the best thought then: tomorrow comes

It comes for me, to have another chance.

                                           

                                                      by Vincent Owino

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VOICE OF A MOTHER.

I was never born a haggard harlot
Back then, I had a soft heart
That believed sex was only a procreation act
I never chose to be a deviant
I was just tender and bright
When life shone on me a different kind of light
A light that turned me into the leathery faced town whore.

They say sex is like a river
And a river can bring life to a place
My river gave me a daughter
However, upon floods
The same river destroys
And that’s how my gift turned me into a leathery faced town whore.

I was fifteen when I conceived
My mother said I was deceived
And homeless I was declared
As a teen I was jobless
And as a young mother, I became helpless
I had no one to turn to; I was vulnerable
I guess that when my life became two faced.

I might have fallen harder
But I believed in my beloved daughter
Her future was under
Still unclear but tender
And I knew a home without a daughter
Is like a spring without a source
I guess that was my motivation.

I worked my body
I buried my feelings deep inside me
I let the hurts of me be caged on my walls
I let men feast on me
I decided to hire myself since no one was willing to help
And that how my opinion for sex turned into an economic act.

I was her mother
I was her father
I always made sure bread was available
For her I was always reliable
Clothes she never lacked
A normal life she lived
And I made sure she believed that I was the most hardworking woman ever.

Now that she has grown
To a fine woman
It is my prayer that school doesn’t teach her to hate my job
I hope when I tell her my story she will not be a snob
I hope she never curses the loins that gave birth to her
I hope she grows to be better
I pray that someday she understands
I became a whore
Because I believed in her future.
  Humphrey.

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THE GAME

I was not created to accept you the way you are, I can and might try but it's not guaranteed, and so I ask of you one thing, to understand me. For I am but a human and I am built to criticize and to judge in order to feed my existence. 

So be rude to me too and kill my pride, beliefs and hopes. And let's spend our days with plastic smiles and inverted frowns, clearly forced. 

Then one day I will wake up and do what the rest did, for all I know ...at one point in life everyone will leave you and hand you over to life and even life itself will get rid of you and dispose of you to death. 

So tell me what expectations do have of me when even the forces greater than me are against you. 

So leave me be for we are all in this game of Life and death and I am playing for survival, whatever it takes It's your time now, the time for your initiation is near, pay your price and onto the next stage go ... 

But as you go please remember, I applied for none of this and none of this can I change, I am simply following the rules of the game, Game of Life and death. 

by Damaris Amondi

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10 WAYS TO KNOW A CAMPUS BOY IS FOOLING YOU

by Vincent Owino
Often, I tell people that the problem in campus is not with the girls but with the men. When they say the campus girl is not a wife, I say it’s because the campus boy is not a husband in the same place. But where exactly does the ruin begin? It begins with a deception. It begins with a boy lying to a girl that he loves her when he actually doesn’t.

The girls realize they were deceived when all has been taken away from them. At this moment what they are left for is to become what those men turn them into, sex dolls, because they lack the boldness to gather up their broken pieces and put them back together covering the cracks with gold.  

Turns out the hardest thing for girls is to distinguish a lying man from an honest one. Let me give you some things to look out for in the men that will tell you he’s certainly just fooling you and just flirting with you.

#1. He’s too anxious to make out with you

Sex is the last thing you want to engage in with a campus boy. A guy will tell you that he loves you, in campus, (if he has to) because of two reasons; he wants a taste of you in bed or he really means it. The best way to find out is to avoid going physical with your relationship, at least not too early. True love can exist without sex and sex is never a proof that you love or trust someone. A man who pushes you so hard to his bed does not respect you and does not care about you or anything else but his own selfish interests. Watch out!

#2. He wants you to go out partying and drinking with him

A friend of mine was once told by a guy, “You’re not a girl to the club”. This got me thinking, there are girls to be taken to the clubs and others are not? How unfair! But at least this made me learn one important fact that if a man really respects a woman, he would not involve her in all the filth he engages in. Respect is a fruit of true love. These campus boys go back home and say how the campus girl is not a wife because they know all the filth they indulge in with them. Now be careful, you could be thinking you’re in love, not knowing all you’ve got is a fan.

#3. He tells you ‘You’re beautiful’ more than he tells you ‘I love you’

I don’t really know the emotional and psychological weight the three words ‘I love you’ bear. But I do imagine that if I really love someone I’d want her to know it all the time and to know that it’s the most important thing to me, above any other thing. There’s a difference between being in love with someone and being in love with someone’s body, and the latter is very dangerous, especially to the one whose body is loved. I’m not saying being told you’re beautiful is wrong, it isn’t, it feels so good to be told that, but a mirror can tell you that. What you need to know from a man is that he truly loves you, and saying it isn’t enough, he must live it.

#4. He lies to his parents in your presence

It doesn’t have to be a physical occasion, it could be on phone. You’re there with a guy, he’s calling his parents and telling them how they’re going on a trip and needs money, when you clearly know there’s no trip. This dude doesn’t respect even his parents, what makes you think he’ll respect you? Besides, the fact that he thinks you won’t care if he lies to his parents means he abases your integrity. If you respect yourself, you better get off that train and find a better one.

# 5. He doesn’t go to church

I was reading this article by Jim Davis on 9Marks about myths that keep college students from joining a church and I was surprised. The number one myth, which applies even in Kenya is that they believe there is no real benefit in joining a church. Isn’t that true? Many young people want things that can materially benefit them instantly. Church is never one of those things for most university students. Now if a man does not go to church, there are very high chances he seeks things that can only benefit him instantly. Similarly, there are high chances (very high) that this man is seeking instant benefit from you, either materially or physically. Here is the truth, anyone who doesn’t trust God cannot trust anybody and does not deserve any trust from anyone.

#6. He never gets angry at you

There was this WhatsApp text with a story of someone who was mistreated by a fellow passenger in a bus but kept calm because he/she knew their journey together was so short. No human is perfect, you have to upset someone at times, and you will always notice it. If a man assumes your faults and flaws, something must be wrong. Clearly, your journey together here must be very short. Someone who intends to be with you for life will not keep silent at your faults, he will point them out and you sort them out together. Let not a man cheat you he is soft, no man is soft, except if the softness is defined in the way he handles his anger.

#7. He never let’s you into his phone

We all have secrets to keep, but no secret is worth keeping from the people we intend to share our lives with. A relationship not built on truth, honesty and transparency cannot stand. When distrust creeps into a relationship, it slowly withers and falls with a bang. When you begin to notice distrust in your relationship therefore, I wouldn’t advice you to walk away, but try to handle it, if it is impossible, walk away and never look back. Think of this, you’re in campus and you can’t even see his phone, if you marry, will you even be allowed to his bedroom?

#8. He flatters you

The foolish are the food of the wise (directly translated from my mother tongue) is a proverb I learnt while growing up. I also learnt that to get something from foolish people, all I have to do is to flatter them, make them feel important to me when I actually don’t mean it. Once you notice signs of flattery in a man, walk away from that guy. All he cares about is his own personal interest and nothing else. I am hoping at university level you’re wise enough to notice that someone is flattering you.

#9. He doesn’t seem concerned about which people you spend time with

As I’ve stated earlier, a guy who knows your journey together is short wouldn’t mind even if you walk with murderers and rapists. He doesn’t care about your social life. When you might think he is giving you freedom, he is actually exploiting you. Love requires commitment and anyone who cannot be committed to love does not deserve to be loved. Your man should be very much concerned about which people, especially male, do you interact with and what influence do they have in your life. If he isn’t, it only means he doesn’t love you.

#10. He doesn’t crave to know you better

Before you get to the point when you tell someone ‘I love you’, you should have known him better than the police do, even better than their parents (in most cases, parents don’t even know their kids). Before you enter a romantic relationship with someone (if you have to), you should have known him pretty well. His background, his family, his friends, his likes, his dislikes, his passion, his talent and everything else.

If a man keeps telling you how much you’re beautiful and how much he loves yet he doesn’t even know your second name, or how many you are in your family, he’s probably lying to you. You can only love somebody for who they are, not for what they are. If he doesn’t love you for who you are, then he certainly loves you for what you are. The problem is when what he loves goes away, he’ll not love you anymore, but when he loves you for who you are, you will always be that person, and he’ll never stop loving you.

One last thing, never think love is something we can never control. We can always control ourselves even in love. Girls never get to choose who seduces them, but they choose who they accept. I understand that some girls just accept anybody with the fear of losing an opportunity. That is not the case however when we trust in God. And as I said, whoever does not trust in God does not deserve to be trusted. Good luck, watch your steps, don’t end up messed up!  

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TO HER WITH LOVE.

Hey you,
It’s been ages since I last saw you. Ages have added days to your timeline, so I choose this date and time to pen down some lines.
Today is your birthday but I won’t ask how old you have gotten since I know how much you hate the word old. I have never forgotten that sweet slap you gave me the last time I used that word on you ha-ha, but I do hope that days have added grace to your fine self, tuning your physique to rhyme with the passing times. I hope that heavens have showered you immensely with the knowledge and wisdom that befits a lady who has seen the passing of many moons and suns.
Today I would have sung you a happy birthday song but you know that the birds of the air felt envious anytime rolls changed and you were the one serenading me, uttering beautiful words and belting our angelic tunes. My friends have been telling me to forget you and move on but I can’t because I didn’t let you off my heart and when you left, I still couldn’t let you off my life. So I won’t and will never call you my ex even when you and I are apart. You see, even the devil on my shoulder misses the glory you brought, he still whispers in my ear that he has never seen an angel like you.
I have come to a realization that for my life to have meaning, you have to be in the equation to be able to solve this love problem. You were and are still the joy in my life lest I forget the faith of a great future that I so dream of, so if you want to call me promiscuous, I don’t care because thinking of how we used to be and how we can forever be intertwined in love, gives me the hope that one day we will be one again.
They keep telling me to wait for the woman of my dreams but I don’t sleep so I can’t find her because the sound of you calling out my name in that soft purr in your voice, keeps me awake. There are countless things I would have loved to say to you, countless moments I would have wanted to experience with you, countless words I would have loved to whisper into your ears only and see you blush and giggle, you know me and my crazy naughty mouth, but I hope that destiny will cross our paths again, that one day I will get to whisper those words I never shouted and shout for the whole world to hear those words that I whispered to you.
As you add one more day to your life and blow one more candle, I pray that your wishes come true. I still hold you dear and look forward to that day when I set mine eyes on you.
By Githinji Kiiru.

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10 THINGS WE DO IN CAMPUS THAT MAKE US TOTALLY SUBHUMAN

Campus is where we develop habits we keep for life. It is where we give definitions about ourselves that we can never change. It is way we paint pictures of ourselves that we can never erase. We should therefore be careful what we do, say or engage in. Here are some of the things we do in campus that totally destroy our internal ego, self-confidence and image. They simply make us subhuman.

1.         Having sex without love

Sex is a pleasure, love is another story altogether, really? Since when? The last time I checked, that’s a rule in the animal’s kingdom. Animals know nothing about love, but that’s where we differ with them. Having sex with someone you don’t love simply means you have put your heart and your brain out of the equation, and what does that make you if not a subhuman? Come on, stop being an animal, sex is not merely a pleasure, let it be used for the right purpose!

2.      Dressing irresponsibly

More often people think that the only irresponsible dressings are the contemporary casual kinds for men and the extremely exposing dresses for the ladies. We rarely imagine that the extremely concealing can also be irresponsible at times. You are in campus; your appearance is more important than what’s in your head. You can’t just dress like you don’t care what others think of your appearance. Dress smartly, be decent, be presentable and most importantly, be neat. Some kinds of dressing expose our personalities to irreparable damages, let’s be careful.

3.      Uncaring for our own bodies

It is in campus that we never care at all what damage the foods we eat and drink cause to our bodies. We sometimes cannot avoid certain foods or might not be aware what damage they cause to us. For instance, we often eat meat in campus, but do we know what damage it does to us?  Find out. That aside, what can we say of those that we know but still deliberately expose ourselves to? We know how harmful alcohol and other drugs are to us, but we still use them, without caring. Some dressing styles expose our bodies to cold which may cause incurable illnesses. A rational human being will take care, at least, of his own body. Think and rethink, are you really human if you can’t take care of your own body?

4.      Being insensitive of the feelings and desires of other people

Human beings are social beings. Without the people around us, we can never survive. As much as we show love and care for ourselves, we should never ignore those around us. The same way we need to be happy and comfortable is the very same way those around us need to be. How often do we play too loud music in our hostels without caring the effect it has on our neighbours? Style up, your music doesn’t need to be loud to be audible, at least to you in your room. Mind about others! Ati waende wasome library, who tells you the only effect your music has is hindrance of studies? A human being with a brain and a heart would know that peace of mind is a basic need to some people, if not to themselves. Care much about yourself, care more about others. That’s the one rule we should live by as young people. Do not be too egocentric.

5.      Being insensitive of our physical environment

 Is it not common in campus to get into the room of a student and wonder if its an animal who lives in there or a human being? Only animals do not care about the hygiene of their environment. They are okay with it no matter how dirty. It is disturbing that some university students are exactly like that. If staying in a house for a day without cleaning it is not hygienic, how do you stay for a week or a month in a house without cleaning? And you really think you are human. You can’t just dispose waste anyhow like you don’t know the right place or way to do so.   We must take good care of our environments, for only then can we be different from animals.

6.      Being unkind to strangers

What normally makes us think that strangers are not humans like us? Campus is a place for strangers, we never really know ninety percent of the people we encounter. Now when we encounter people and start uttering some unkind comments about their physical appearance, nature or style in their hearing, we are not any different from animals. It’s dogs that bark at other strange dogs and it is hens that pick up fights with strange hens. What makes you different from them if you can’t, at least, mind your own business when you encounter strangers even if you don’t like something about them?

7.      Expecting to reap where we did not sow

Friends, only animals do not farm but still eat. They depend on chance to survive. Human beings on the other and are not like that. We work to survive. We reap exactly where we sow. I’m normally wondering what on earth is wrong with these guys who get into an exam room unprepared and begin disturbing their neighbours. If you can’t read, why don’t you make other arrangements earlier? Be a self-dependent person. If you expect to reap, then you must plan to sow.

8.      Disrespecting older people, especially lecturers and support staff

When a calf starts growing horns, it normally wants to test and exercise them, so it feels fit to even wrestle a fully-grown bull. But we are humans, we must admit that older people are better than us, at least in age. We must give them the respect they deserve, despite what their work is, whether a lecturer or a cleaner.

9.      Being pushed to work for our own good

A cow has to be forced to pull a cart carrying Napier grass which it will itself feed on. It is because the cow doesn’t realize that pulling the cart is for its own benefit. This is similar to how we often want to be forced to do what benefits only us in campus. Some creatures want to be forced to be in a class or to study for the exams, not realizing that it is for their own greater good. University education is classified as tertiary education in Kenya, meaning, it is not compulsory and one can do without it. If you don’t want to be in the university, pack your bags and go back home. You don’t have to stay there, waste money and do a lot of nothing.

10.  Fighting

At university level! In primary school, disputes were solved through fighting, that reduced in secondary school, and now in campus, you still fight? Wake up friend, you have the ability to speak for a reason. No dispute is beyond solution through dialogue. Martin Luther King Jr. once said, “Violence can murder a liar, but it cannot murder lies, violence can murder the hater, but it doesn’t murder hate”. Violence is not necessary. It is not a solution, itself is the problem. Wake up!

That is the truth now. Take it or leave it, your choice. Now think and rethink, gauge yourself if you meet the standards of being human, or even of human being. Thanks for reading, kindly be courteous and share this information. It’s important to the restoration of humanity to our campuses.

By Vincent Owino

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The Church

The Church is not a museum
For good people rather
The church is a safehouse
A sanctuary for the broken
And a shield for the weak

The Church is not
A store house or an investment
Not a market you will sell to
Not a house of ill repute
But the house of the Holy one

To the church leaders!
Don't push God's people
Out of the church
You've been chosen to lead
Direct and bless others
Watch and be careful that
Ye don't get curses instead

Leaders God has anointed
You for service only
And not to be served
Be there for the flock
In love tend their wounds
And lead them home safely

And to the congregation
You are Christians
Called by the name of Christ
A good Christian living
Is the greatest sermon ever

And thus
Live a life that will praise God
And remember the church
Is not just Gods temple
It is also your family

Home is where family is
Home is where you are sure you
belong
All may desert you not family
Family protects it's own

#wandez mogire

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MEET BRAYO 254:CHUKA UNI MOST FAMOUS DANDY AND DANCER 👊👌

 

Brayo is arguably one of the best dancer you can bump into in Chuka University.His dancing prowess has been termed extraordinary by many. His sense of dressing is unrivaled. I got a chance to sit with him and in this insightful interview he opens up about his personal life, dancing talent and fashion.

Brian is a second year student pursuing a bachelor's  degree in agribusiness management at Chuka University and this is what he had to say

Describe your personality in 4 words. 

Bold, grandiose, sassy and audacious

What's your take on Kenyan dancing Industry at the moment. 

Kenyan industry has really evolved over the past few years. There are a lot of talented dancers at the top and untapped talents which requires to be nurtured at the bottom. Dancing is the next big thing to watch in the coming years.

You have danced on several big stage locally. How has the experience been like?

Yeah, I'm fortunate to have danced in some very big gigs locally. The experience has been amazing. I have been able to grow as a dancer I have also traveled far and wide and interacted with people from all walks of life.
Not mentioning that I have shared the same platform with a list of bandwagon artists in Kenya like Timmy Tdat and Kenrazy

Perfecting dance moves demands for a lot of practice. How do you manage?

I must admit it's a big challenge. We I try to create time for myself. In our dance crew 254 we have different roles for everyone in the group but occasionally we seek help from outside. As for perfecting our dance moves we begin our practice at 7pm to 9 every day. Usually we draw inspiration from international dance crews then integrate the moves with our original dance moves and practice until everyone in the group get everyone right.





How are you able to juggle between your academics and dancing?

It has not been easy, it's a herculean hurdle. As you know it and as everyone else knows it the primary reason why we're in school is to study and nothing else. Sometimes I have to wake up at cock crow to study and make up sometimes during the day to cover up for the time that I will be in for dance practice.

Let's talk finances. Does dancing pay?

Yes, I pay bills with dancing and also add up to the pocket money that my parents give to me. Of course there are numerous challenges here and there but I can't complain much. I have been able to save little cash that I get from dancing to run my own personal errands. Haha...

Speaking of challenges. What are some of the greatest challenges you've had to endure since you started out as a dancer?

The challenges are numerous but the world is not utopia. When I was still growing in dance we used to attend shows and because we didn't have a good manager we used to be exploited by some very greedy and unscrupulous promoters. They took advantage of us and as a result we used to be poorly remunerated. That was really demoralizing for me as a person.
But thanks to our new manager Dj Nabri I'm glad to say that is now water under the bridge.
Another challenge is that dancers are wrongly judged the society tends to think that we dance because we want to get groupies which is not the case. We dance because we're passionate about dancing and no any other underlying agenda.

Is the future bright for dancers in Kenya?

Yes, there is a a bright future for dance groups locally. Dance is highly valued today and hardworking dancers will definitely reap a lot from their work. Right now, almost every artist must have backup dancers when performing live. Dancing competition are also in plenty and youths out there have numerous platforms to showcase their talents which of course comes along with money.
At 254 dance crew we also have big dreams about the future.We hope to be the best dancing crew in Africa someday performing for big African artists like Davido and Mafikizolo.

If you were to send a memo to non dancers. What would you tell them?

You are missing everything

Who do you look up to as a role model and mentor?

My best international dance crew is the Black Eagle from Jamaica . In Kenya I have always admired the Shakers.
Dj Nabri and Sam 254 have been my biggest mentor ever since I arrived in Chuka. I thank them for everything

Let's shift gears now. I love your swag like you are trendy.

(laughs) Thanks a lot. Mostly I design what I want to wear. Dressing well makes one feel confident of him or herself. You are comfortable around people and this makes one productive

So where do you purchase most of your clothes?

Shazz beauty collection at Chuka Town. He's the best designer I know at the moment.

Campus girls are asking if you are dating someone?

(Laughs even louder)
No I'm not dating currently I'm just focused on dancing. I don't wanna rush in making the wrong decisions in life. Dance saved me from a life of debauchery. But of course time will come for that. I'm single and I'm proud of that.

Where do you see yourself in the next ten years or so?

There are many things that I want to achieve but mostly I want to change the society around me. I want to be the best at what I do

Anyone who wants to get in touch with you. Where can they find you?


Facebook - Brancon Bryo Membz
Instagram - Brian Membo
Phone/whatapp-0725436032                                                                                                                                                                     

Do you have a life quote that you live by?
                                                                                                                                                                         Hardwork, believe, behave and become

Now the obvious question which I always ask everyone I meet. Have you watched the Game of Thrones season 7?
Haha... Yes it's such a good movie but until you watch The black panther that's when you will know that The game of Thrones is overrated.

Your parting shot?

My challenge to Kenyan youths who want to join the dancing industry is to decide what they want most out of their careers. Decide if you want financial success, comfort or fame. Put God first and persist until you make it to where you want to be in life.





By Ben Mugambi

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