by Vincent Owino
Are you dating? Are you happy? If your answer to both of
these questions is yes, then you may agree with this. “A relationship begins to
die the moment sex is introduced into it.” These are the exact words of a
rueful varsity student who will give it all to just turn back the clock and
return to just a year ago. “I will do it right I swear; I will do it all right”
He says.
The third year Chuka University student [let’s give him a
pseudo name, John; spoke to the Gilder Magazine on the condition of anonymity],
claims sex ruined his happy relationship. He had been in a relationship with a
girl for two years, which dates back to his form 4 in 2015. Many high school
relationships are said to never really work out in the real world, but
according to him, theirs was an exception. It was going to work. Echoing his
words, she was an amazing lady; beautiful is an understatement. She was smart,
principled, godly, bold and very intelligent. A rare breed of girls indeed.
Unlike many high school relationship, even though they were
always miles apart, ‘sexting’ had never found its way into their relationship.
They never thought about it, not the virtual one, not the real one. Maybe they
were naïve, but they were both happy, and it worked out very well for them.
They both finished high school (the girl a year after the guy), joined
different universities, still together and happy. John explained that nothing
made him happier than just thinking of that girl. She was his entire world. She
meant more than the world to him, she meant heaven to him.
Then the sad part of it; they gave in to sex almost at the
end of their second year in that relationship. Well, they planned, saved, met
and bang! It happened! Feeling quite embarrassed and very regretful, John
admitted that he suggested it. It might not look like a big deal to you, but
according to John, soon after the encounter, it dawned on him how much they had
both lost. They could never address each other the same way again. John says he
was feeling so guilty that he had broken the most important promise he had made
to her; to never give in to sex. “It’s not like she wasn’t okay with it, she
was.
Actually, she was very okay and even wanted a second time. But I wasn’t. I
had wronged God, myself and the girl I loved.” Communication between them began
to reduce, and yeah, we all know what happens when there is no communication in
any relationship. John waited for time to save him but that didn’t seem to
work. Anyway, we know the ending to this story and it isn’t a happy one.
After he shared this story with me, I decided to carry out
my own survey and realized that most happy relationships in or outside campus,
that lead to successful marriages are sexless; do your research. I asked a
friend of mine if there is sex in her relationship and the way she looked at
me, I didn’t need an answer. To be precise, sex is never in a relationship that
is meant to last a lifetime. I will tell you something, ninety-nine percent of
youthful today relationships are clogged with sex, that commitment finds a hard
time existing in them. Explains why not 1% of marriages today are happy (do
your research).
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