In Chuka University, hostels are few in
number, every year the university admits thousands of students who are enrolled
to pursue various courses that it offers. Chuka University itself being a
developing university lacks enough capacity to comfortably accommodate the
immense number of students flocking in every year. Needless to say that most
hostels are in rather decrepit state, so some students cannot bear the thought
of sleeping in group of four like high school dormitories. Also the need to
privacy will compel any student to seek shelter outside the university either
individually or find a roommate. Lucky
to say that opportunist wealthy investors around the school vicinity continue to embark in a building spree to ensure that the overflow is accommodated in their
houses.
Most of these houses are exorbitantly
rented out, and not all can afford to live alone. As a result sharing a space
with someone is the first thing that comes to mind. For some reason one may not
have the privilege of choosing their roommates so you may end up living with
some very queer characters. Let us explore them.
The
Weirdo Roommate
His demeanor is characterized by extreme
mood swings. The first week or two this guy will be in a bliss merrymaking with
you and everyone around but the next few weeks, he would sulk up at you for no
apparent reason. He even refuses to share cost of foodstuffs and will start
cooking his.
Owing to the rising cases of homicides
between roommates in many universities you are forced to fear becoming a victim
because at times you rarely know what this person is thinking because he rarely
offers any transparency in him. When there is an issue which can be solved through face to face confrontation for example washing the dishes or cleaning the house
he resolves to send you a text message with a condescending tone reminding you
of your duties.
This is the type of person I shared a room
with in my first semester as a first year. That guy was a jerk,
obnoxious, utterly unpredictable and the most difficult person to ever deal
with. I thank God we parted ways.
The
academic freak
This one believes that he’ll get a first
class honour degree and you cannot sway him away from achieving his set goals.
If he’s not in the room doing his personal studies, chances are, he’s in the
university library reading behemoths of books. Sharing the same spot with this
breed is a mixed blessing. The good part is that he will help you demystify
those difficult assignments the lecturer gave you to carry home as a homework.
The bad part of having such a roommate is
when he decides to assume the role of your surrogate lecturer or parent and he
keeps lecturing you on the virtue of maintaining a reading culture basing his reasons
that CATS and main exams are forthcoming even when they are months away.
You can get depressed living with this
type especially if you don’t love reading too much yourself.
How
to deal with an Academic Freak Roommate.
Don’t allow him to be a pain on your neck.
Place him on his place and firmly on the shade. When he’s intending to do his
studies, hide some of his books or better still pour water on them and then
feign an unawareness or an innocent face. By doing so, you will have send a
strong an unequivocal message to him that he’s unwanted and a nuisance.
Make it clear to him that this is not
Harvard University where nerds toil day and night reading while trying to
discover a vaccine for Ebola or trying to make a software to hack through a
woman’s system in a bid to get a cure for cervical cancer but this is Chuka University
where comrades scribble small sheets of Mwakenya’s to be sneaked in during
exams.
The
couch potato roommate
This one hardly leaves the room. You even
wonder whether this guy was ever enrolled in class. They spend the whole day
either sleeping or curled up on their beds, their eyes glued to their laptops
watching nollywood movies and Mexican soaps telenovela. And they are so engrossed in
this type of thing that you will hear them cursing themselves if the villain in
the movies seem to be defeating his favorite character.
Such types are also lazy. You know that
type of roommate who leaves the room in a jumble mess waiting for you to do
everything. Wash the dishes, clean the house and put everything to order.
How
to deal with such a roommate.
You are not his wife, he hasn’t married
you and when he was moving from his parents’ house he knew very well the
responsibilities ahead of him. Refrain from cooking and let him starve for some
days, eventually he will subdue start taking his responsibilities as a man.
The
come we stay relationship roommate
These are those roommates who are fornicating and cohabiting together. The lass has been reduced from a college girl that she was
supposed to be into an object of sado-masochism
sex and physical labour. The girl is only seen around the school during exams period.
You ask yourself what she’s going to write because she hasn’t been attending
lecturers from the beginning of the semester of course the guy used to attend
at her expense.
But perhaps what is more shocking is when
you are their next door neighbor and they decide to have sex in the wee hours
of the night. Your peaceful slumber will be rudely disrupted by the creaking of their bed and their loud
whimpers and moans. The “husband” smashes the “wife” so ferociously that you
are inclined to think that this is what their parents sent them to do in
campus. If only the same zeal can be applied on their studies, Chuka
University would be an A –Rated University. Way better than Cambridge.
The
music fanatic roommate
They say that good music heals a sorrowful soul, I agree, and yes I said good music not just any other music.
The music fanatic roommate blares the house with a horrisonant cacophony of loud music that
can damage your aural. They don’t give monkey's cuss that you have lectures the
next morning. They will leave the radio playing the entire night until the ungodly hours of the morning, by the time call
it quit your nap has already been spoilt.
There is nothing much to gain dwelling
with such a roommate in fact , it is to your detriment. When you try to reason
with them to have the radio kept at low volume because you want to study, it
becomes a fight. Your stay with him or her may end acrimoniously.
The
sex maniac or a space hog roommate
I can’t say much about the sex maniac
roommate, because I haven’t met them but those who have had the jinx of meeting
them can tell you how awful it can be sharing the same roof with such people.
I am told that they come in two types,
that is, the one who will exile you prior to his girlfriend’s arrival, and the
one who won’t bother. If you happen to meet the latter, flee the room before
you lose yourself with bouts of primeval sex hunger.
The
drug maniac or the bhang smoker roommate
Bhang is the commonly abused drug among
campus students . This is because most are brainwashed into believing that
smoking bhang will help boost their academic grades. Probably this is one of
the worst roommates you will ever have the misfortunes of living with. When the
bhang start kicking in their system they turn wild and uncontrollable.
Once in a while they try to cajole you
into seeing the advantage of indulging in their immoral behavior. Beware of
such roommate and shun them like a person with a dangerous pestilence.
The
ideal roommate or the perfect match roommate
They
are hard and elusive to find; I’m still looking for one myself. If you find them
treasure them like a gold mine. They are honest, clean and polite, an all-round
person, a brother, a sister by all account. A companion and a soul mate. One
who you can turn on and talk to when you have a problem, one who is easy to
engage. They are a rare breed but they are there, loo for one and then thank me
later
There you have it folks, which type is
your roommate?
By Ben Mugambi
