DILEMMA

I don't want to think of the future

It doesn't hold me

Neither do I want to think about the past

That was me then

I don't want to sing, I only know sad songs

Neither do I want to be quite , I have so much to say.

I don't want to advocate for peace, because I myself lack it

Neither do I want to think of war, I've been in so much with fate

I don't want to pray, I've sinned in everything

Neither do I want to grieve by myself, but I'm always alone.

I don't want friendship, because my nature fails me

Neither do I want love, I've searched for so long but all in vain

I don't want the sun, it scorches so much

Neither do I want the rain, it's drops are too heavy for me

I don't need to plan

Neither do I just need to be there

But fate will always do things its way.

I don't want to believe the truth, it's too bitter

Neither do I take the path of a lie, it's dark and rotten

I think of now and what I see is me and tomorrow

But that has a lot of strains attached

I've chosen to be a lone-walker

Because those like me can't be found anywhere

Maybe they are busy somewhere,

Being who they've always wanted to be.

I just want to have time to think

And reason on this want

But does it count?

Only fate will give the verdict.

            By Verline Mindugu